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Okay, so maybe there’s some Puerto Rican men that don’t need to pimp out their car and already have that Aston Martin that they only park in handicapped spaces to avoid scratches… You tell them that, and they’ll think it’s a stripper’s name or Daddy Yankee’s newest reggaeton song.

But the reality is that while his car may be nice and neat, he probably still lives with mom and dad off of government coupons, and I assure you, his room will probably look like Jesus took his last holy crap in his hot mess of a room – You think I’m kidding… If you wait for the guy to open the door, he’ll ask whether you’re too handicapped to open your own door.

Major League Baseball is headed back to Puerto Rico next season.

The Pirates and Marlins will play "all or part" of a scheduled four-game series on the island in 2016, the Los Angeles Times reports.

So please, try and properly comprehend and evaluate the tone, sarcasm, and satire behind her compelling, realistic, and hilarious takes on her experiences as a newbie on the current shitty state of affairs of this forsaken island…