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“My friends tease me for having a ‘gay boyfriend.’ ” Despite my very clear attraction to my ex-girlfriend, she, like many straight women, allowed gender stereotypes to end our relationship.I guess I could butch it up to keep the speculations at bay and land more straight women.There are few, if any, arenas in which bisexual men, queer in our own right, have the space to express femininity without fear of our sexuality being nullified.

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I always present and identify as a man; it’s just that, sometimes I’m a man who acts more feminine.

Still, I don’t often self-describe as “femme,” because it hasn’t worked out well in the past.

Here’s the trouble: While femininity can be dangerous for gay men, it is somewhat expected of them—a form of behavior or mode of self-presentation they are “allowed.” For bi guys like me, even a little femininity threatens to erase our entire identity. Both the straight and LGBTQ community regularly speculate on the veracity of my sexuality.

I am told I don’t exist or that I’m going through a phase.

While part of me wants to identify proudly as femme, I’m wary of doing so, because I know it will only cause me grief.